Tapped Out
by Regal Idiot
Summary: Emma helps Regina deal with the aftermath of a much more brutal test from the Queens of Darkness. Angst with a side of fluff. Swan Queen.


**A/N: This story begins after Regina's night out with the Queens of Darkness and veers away from canon prior to Pinocchio's abduction. I hope you enjoy! Please take a moment to review. :)**

**TRIGGER WARNING: Though the trauma in this story is rooted in magical elements, it is easily comparable to real life trauma situations, such as physical/sexual assault. **

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"Ma, why didn't she come home last night? Where is she?" Henry asked, eyes wide, brows drawn together. He stood aside to let his mom through the door.

Emma's expression mirrored his. She sighed. "I don't know, kid, but you know your mom – she's tough. If she's not back by the time I've dropped you at school, I'll go and find her myself."

Henry's head dipped in acknowledgement, his gaze fixed on the floor. "Okay," he said.

"I'll find her, Henry, I promise," Emma said firmly and pulled him into a hug. "She'll be okay."

After they had both attempted (and failed) to eat breakfast, Emma drove Henry to school and then returned to the mansion. "Please be back," she murmured, as she let herself into the house with Henry's key. Emma stomped through to the kitchen and back, calling out for Regina as she went. She ascended the stairs and ducked her head into the brunette's bedroom – empty. "Regina? You here?" she called, jogging down the stairs and into the living room. Also empty. She sighed and wished for the hundredth time that she had been more adamant about accompanying Regina on this outing with the Queens of Darkness. She should have known better.

A knock on the door pulled the blonde from her reverie. As she pulled the door open, her frown dissipated and she gasped. Leaning against a pillar, her head tilted back, stood Regina. The woman visibly trembled and when she lifted her head, Emma saw that her hair was in complete disarray, her cheeks streaked with eye makeup and dirt. There was a cut above Regina's right brow and a world of pain in her dark eyes. "Em-m-ma," she whispered hoarsely and extended her arm.

"Holy crap, what happened to you?" Emma whispered, her eyes still wide with shock.

Regina's bottom lip quivered. "Help me," she murmured and stumbled forward.

The blonde snapped out of her shock just in time to reach Regina and catch her. She pulled a limp arm around her shoulders and braced herself to carry as much of the trembling woman's weight as possible. "Can you walk at all?" she asked softly.

"I thi-ink so."

"Okay, lean on me as much as you can." Emma shuffled them both slowly inside and stopped at the base of the stairs.

Regina raised her head slightly. "Do y-you think yo-ou can poof us up-p-stair-rs?" Every word wavered with the violent shudders that rippled through her body.

"I can try," Emma said and closed her eyes to concentrate on where she wanted them to go. A few moments later, she felt the solidity of the floor beneath her feet disappear and she opened her eyes to see Regina's room spinning around them. She closed her eyes again and waited for the dizziness to pass.

"Emma," Regina gasped. "Bathr-room."

Emma hobbled them into the en suite as quickly as she could manage and held back the brunette's hair as the woman threw up once, twice, three times into the porcelain bowl. When Emma helped her over to the sink to rinse her mouth afterward, she saw that there were fresh tears sliding down Regina's cheeks. Without thinking, the blonde reached over and wiped them away. Regina's gaze met hers, eyes shining with the weight of whatever it was that she'd endured.

"Regina, what do you need right now?" Emma whispered. "Tell me what to do."

Regina closed her eyes and swallowed. "Ma-magic. I need-d…"

"What do you mean? How?"

"Ta-ake my ha-ands and co-oncentra-ate on flow-w-ing your magi-ic into me-e."

Emma took the brunette's hands, closed her eyes and focused on harnessing the light magic within herself. She then siphoned it through her hands and into Regina, who breathed an audible sigh of relief. When Emma opened her eyes again, some colour had returned to the other woman's cheeks, the cut above her brow had scabbed over, and her shaking had, for the most part, dissipated. "Was that okay? How do you feel?"

Regina nodded and opened her eyes. "Better. Terrible — but much better than I did."

Emma took a deep, shuddering breath, and then released it. "I'm glad," she murmured. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Bath. I need — I'm freezing. I haven't felt my fingers or toes in hours," the brunette murmured.

Emma sat down on the side of the tub, put the plug in, and turned on the hot and cold faucets.

"Luke warm, dear," Regina instructed, softly. "Any warmer and it'll do more harm than good."

Emma nodded, set the temperature and poured in some bubble mixture from the bottle behind the faucet. She turned back toward Regina and observed the way the woman sagged against the bathroom sink. "Will you be okay to…" the question hung, unfinished in the air.

Regina swallowed. "I might need some help." She refused to meet Emma's gaze.

"Okay. It's okay, Regina. I won't look or anything, alright?"

The brunette nodded.

Emma stepped forward and lowered herself onto her knees. She unzipped Regina's boots and removed them, followed by her pantyhose. She then stood and slipped the woman's coat down her arms. When Regina was down to her skirt and button-down blouse, Emma bit her lip. "Do you want to try and do the rest?"

Regina nodded and managed to slide her skirt down until it fell in a puddle at her feet. She began to fumble with the buttons on her silk blouse, hands shaking. After a minute that felt like an eternity, she shook her head. "I can't," she whispered, shame colouring her cheeks. She looked down at the floor as Emma reached for her.

"It's okay, that's why I'm here." The blonde curled her fingers beneath Regina's chin and gently lifted her head, until they were eye to eye. "Let me help."

Regina swallowed again, her eyes shining. "Okay."

Emma maintained eye contact as she unbuttoned the burgundy shirt and dropped it with the other clothes behind her. "Do you want to turn around?"

"Please," Regina whispered; Emma turned her slowly and unhooked her bra.

"I'll turn around too, until you're ready," the blonde murmured and did as she had said.

Regina dropped her bra and struggled out of her panties. She crossed an arm over her chest, using the other to brace herself against the wall. She cleared her throat and looked pointedly away.

Emma turned around and helped the brunette over, and eventually into, the tub. She watched Regina sink down amongst the bubbles with a sigh, until her chin sat just above the water. For a moment, the blonde was struck by how surreal this scenario was. Four years ago, when Regina had come at her like a raging fire and threatened to destroy her happiness, she never would have believed that they would end up here. She never could have imagined that they would become friends: working together, protecting one another and co-parenting Henry so agreeably. And Emma knew that these things were only possible because Regina had changed so much and worked so hard to make that change happen. She fought to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat. "How are you doing?" she asked and lowered herself onto the side of the tub.

Regina smiled softly. "This is good," she murmured, a head amongst a sea of bubbles. "Thank you, Emma."

"You're welcome, but you kinda scared the shit out of me," Emma replied, though she smiled back.

"I'm sorry; if there had been any way to get back sooner, I would have."

"I know. What happened last night?"

The brunette sighed. "Can we talk about it after I've bathed and eaten? I'm just beginning to feel human again."

Emma nodded. "Of course, whenever you're ready."

"Good." Regina reached for a bottle of shampoo and held it out to Emma. "Do you mind?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Beginning to see what your servants put up with back in the day," she mumbled, but took the bottle and squeezed a generous amount of shampoo into her palm. "Sit up, your majesty," she instructed and moved to sit on the edge of the tub directly behind Regina, who complied.

As Emma massaged shampoo into her scalp, Regina failed to hold back the moan that had been building up in her throat.

Emma raised her eyebrows, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. "Geez Regina, get a room."

"Hmm, you have no idea how incredibly relaxing this is," the brunette sighed, eyes closed.

"I've been to a salon before, you know."

"Really? I was under the impression you hacked that hair yourself, with a pocket knife," Regina smirked.

Emma laughed. "Someone's back to her usual charming self. Pun intended."

"Dear, I assure you there is absolutely nothing charming about me," the brunette said, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, probably not."

Regina turned abruptly and flicked some bubbles at Emma's face. They landed on the blonde's cheek.

"Okay, that was totally uncalled for." Emma grabbed a handful of bubbles from the tub and blew them directly at Regina's face; they landed in a smattering across the woman's forehead and nose.

Regina scowled and wiped her face clean. "I'd like to condition and get out of this tub, so perhaps you can meet me downstairs."

Emma nodded. "Okay, if you're sure you'll be alright on your own?"

"I can feel my fingers and toes again," the brunette held up a hand and wiggled her digits to prove her point.

"Glad to hear it; I'll see you downstairs in a few."

When Emma had closed the bathroom door behind her, Regina sank below the surface of the water and attempted to shut down every thought pertaining to the night she had somehow survived. Those thoughts and images, however, could not be drowned out so easily.

/

A wave of dizziness washed over Regina during the walk from her bedroom to the stairs. She reached for the banister, closed her eyes and swallowed. Frustration surged up from within her gut as she fought the temptation to descend unattended. She scowled and sighed. "Emma?" she called out.

The blonde appeared at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at her. "Want some help?"

Regina's scowl deepened. "Not particularly, but apparently I need some."

Emma ran up to meet her. "At your service, your majesty."

"Perhaps next time you could refrain from running." She accommodated Emma's arm around her waist and they began a slow descent.

"Aw, is someone worried about my safety?"

"More than you know."

Emma cast a sidelong glance at the brunette, her eyes filled with questions that she couldn't bring herself to ask. She concentrated on leading Regina down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Okay, I know you're not big on carbs, but I made us killer paninis, so eat and don't argue," she said.

"I love carbohydrates — they, however, do not love me," Regina sighed and took a seat by the island bench.

Emma laughed. "You're kidding me, right? Have you seen you?"

"This is the result of _less carbs_, dear."

"Yeah, right." Emma put a plate filled with a generously sized panini in front of the brunette and sat down with her own.

Regina raised her eyebrows. "Emma, this is huge."

Emma wiggled her own in response. "That's what she said."

Regina rolled her eyes. "I'd say that you have the maturity of a fourteen year old boy, but that would be an insult to our son." She took a bite of the panini and damn if it wasn't delicious.

"Whatever you say," the blonde mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Your table manners are atrocious."

"We aren't even at a table — this is a kitchen island."

"Touché." Regina took another bite of sandwich. "This really is good."

Emma smiled. "Wow, that might just be the highest compliment you've ever given me."

"I don't give unearned compliments."

"Ouch, feeling the burn."

The brunette smirked and continued to eat.

"So… do you want to talk about what happened last night?" Emma asked cautiously, once they had finished eating and had coffee in front of them.

Regina's smile vanished. "No, I don't, but I think perhaps I should." She took a deep breath and released it.

"It's okay, take your time. If you want to take a break or whatever, just say so," Emma said gently as she reached out to cover Regina's hand with her own.

"Thank you. As you know, Maleficent, Cruella and Ursula dragged me out again last night."

Emma nodded.

"They took me out into the forest — to the bald spot, where that open field is," Regina continued. "When we arrived, Gold was there, dagger and all. They said that there were still… concerns about where my loyalties lie. That they needed me to prove myself one more time."

Emma nodded again. "Okay, so this was another test?"

"I don't know if I would call it that — it was far more horrific than any of the others," Regina said softly.

Emma frowned. "What the hell did they make you do?"

"I'm getting there, dear," Regina patted her hand.

"Right, sorry."

"It's alright. So, one of them said that if I were to be sent back in time to the moment I rescued Snow, and forced to relive my life again as the person I am now, I would not be able to follow through with the choices I originally made from that point onward."

"Well that's stupid — of course you wouldn't. Who would? No one goes through life without change and growth. If I relived my early twenties as the person I am now, I doubt I'd redo most of the stuff I did the first time around," Emma interjected.

"I agree. They, however, see that as a sign that I am no longer capable of committing the evils I once did."

"Which you're not."

"Which I'm not, no. But they expected me to prove that I am. So they… they – do you remember how Daniel returned while you were in the Enchanted Forest?"

"Yeah, Whale brought him back, but he was messed up and you had to… deal with him using magic, right?"

Regina nodded. "I had to kill him with magic, yes. And watch him die — again. Well, last night, the Bitches of Darkness — and Rumple, although one could argue that he also fits the label — siphoned magic from themselves into me. It was… having someone else's dark magic pushed into your being is a horrible feeling. It's like having the essence of someone else beneath your skin with you, tainting your very existence. It's incredibly invasive: an assault on your autonomy in every respect. I had four powerful practitioners of dark magic pour their darkness into me and I just-" She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment.

"It sounds awful, Regina, I'm sorry." Emma took the brunette's hand. "Do you want to take a break?"

Regina shook her head emphatically. "No. I want to get this over with."

"Okay. I don't understand, though. What did they gain by giving you all that power?"

"To kill someone using magic, without ripping out their heart, requires a lot of power. It's incredibly draining — it defies the laws of both nature and magic. So they… poured magic into me and then they…" her voice wavered and she swallowed hard, to try and dislodge the lump that had formed in her throat. "Afterward, my magic was completely tapped out. I couldn't conjure a fireball, let alone poof myself home. That hasn't happened since I was a novice."

Emma squeezed her hand gently.

"Anyhow, they… resurrected, I suppose — though not in the flesh and blood sense — the people I… killed and had me kill each one again, in front of them."

Emma's spare hand came down in a fist on the surface of the bench. "What the fuck?!"

Regina jumped in her seat.

"I'm sorry," Emma said. "That's just – Regina, that is so fucked up."

The brunette nodded. Her eyes shone and her bottom lip quivered. "It is. I know it was magic and they weren't really there, but it seemed so… real. I had to… kill my father again, mother, Leopold, and several others. But by far the worst was Daniel."

"Daniel?" Emma frowned. "But you didn't even…"

"Kill him? The first time I certainly didn't. But they brought him forth last and had me do it anyway. Three times, Emma. Three times I've watched him die, twice at my own hand," Regina whispered, as tears made pathways down her cheeks and dripped onto the bench top. Rehashing her terrible evening was almost as devastating as it had been to experience it.

Emma's heart ached with the weight of Regina's pain. She desperately wanted to comfort the distraught woman, but she didn't know what she could possibly say or do to lessen her grief. She settled for getting out of her chair and going to stand beside the brunette, their hands still linked. "Regina, I know we don't do this stuff, but can I- would it be okay if I… held you right now?" she asked tentatively.

Regina lifted her watery gaze to meet Emma's and nodded. She crumbled the second she felt strong arms wrap around her. The tears gushed in torrents and loud, wracking sobs ripped forth from her throat. She cursed those humiliating sounds and the salt water on her face. She cursed the Queens of Darkness and Rumplestiltskin for their cruelty. But mostly she cursed herself for having allowed such darkness to pervade her heart that she ever could have taken life away so easily and without remorse.

"I'm so sorry that this happened to you, " Emma whispered into the brunette's ear, as she rubbed soothing circles on her back. "You're safe here; I'll always have your back, Regina, no matter what. I know I failed you last night and I'm sorry for that, but I promise you can count on me."

Eventually Regina's sobs faded into sniffles and she pulled back to look at Emma. "Thank you," she said, her voice hoarse. "Though there's nothing to apologise for. There's no way you could have been there last night; they had the clearing cloaked with magic. You never would have found us."

Smirking as she handed Regina a tissue, Emma couldn't resist saying, "I will always find you."

Regina rolled her eyes, now red from crying. "You just couldn't help yourself."

"I really couldn't," Emma agreed.

A small smile graced the brunette's lips and she sighed as she wiped beneath her eyes with the tissue.

"What's going to be the best thing for you right now? What can I do?" Emma asked.

"Emma, you've done more than enough for me today."

"I haven't done anything; I wish there was some way I could make it better."

Regina reached out and touched the other woman's cheek softly. "You have."

Emma smiled. "So, what now?"

"Now I'm exhausted and need to sleep."

"Okay, I'll help you back upstairs before I go."

Regina cleared her throat. "Do you have to? Go, I mean?"

"No," Emma smiled again. "I can stay."

"Good."

The pair slowly made their way upstairs and into the huge master bedroom, where Regina changed into pajamas and climbed into bed. She looked up at Emma, who stood awkwardly at her bedside, shuffling from foot to foot. "Are you waiting for a written invitation, dear?"

Emma blushed. "Uh, you want me to… join you? In your bed?"

"Well, unless you'd rather stand over me like a psychopathic stalker, yes," Regina smirked.

"Okay. Sure. I'll just… take off my boots," Emma mumbled.

"Good — you might be welcome here, but they are not."

The blonde sat on the edge of the bed and fumbled with her boots.

Regina sighed.

When her boots were finally removed, Emma went over to the other side of the bed and pulled back the plush duvet. She hesitated momentarily before lowering herself in between silky sheets that probably had a higher thread count than every sheet she'd ever owned, combined. She was careful to keep what she deemed an appropriate distance from Regina and lay on her back, looking up at the high ceiling. "So… Is this weird?"

Regina snorted. "Only because you're making it so."

"Me? What am I even doing?!"

"Well, there was the fumbling, the general awkwardness. Not to mention the fact that you have situated yourself as far from me as possible."

"I'm trying to be respectful of boundaries, here!" Emma protested.

"I'm sorry, whose boundaries?"

"Yours!"

"I never said nor implied that I wanted you to maintain this distance. These boundaries you speak of are yours, dear."

Emma was quiet for a moment. "Are you saying you want me to be closer?" She turned onto her side and leaned on her forearm, watching Regina.

"I want you to be wherever you want to be."

Emma fell quiet again. What she wanted more than anything was to hold Regina close and breathe her in — to wake up with her every morning and protect her at all costs. She decided to throw caution to the wind and moved toward the other woman. When their bodies were touching, she stopped. "Is this okay?" she breathed.

Regina looked at her and smiled. "Yes." She moved in closer and turned away from Emma, then reached back to grab the other woman's arm and pull it around her middle. "Is _this_ okay?" she whispered.

Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, Emma nodded into Regina's hair. "Yes," she whispered back and tightened her hold around Regina's waist. She burrowed further into the soft, brown tresses and breathed in jasmine and clove and apple. A wave of desire bloomed in her stomach and traveled down, to settle between her thighs. She wanted so much. "Regina?" she murmured? But the brunette was already lost in a deep, dreamless sleep. Emma sighed, torn between disappointment and relief; now was not the time. She closed her eyes and dozed off before she could sink any further into contemplation.

/

It was the knee in her back that woke Emma, more so than the afternoon sunlight that now streamed in through the blinds they had forgotten to close. "Oww," she murmured, refusing to open her eyes.

"Sorry, dear," Regina whispered, voice still hoarse with sleep. She lowered her knee and snaked an arm around Emma's waist.

The blonde's eyes were suddenly wide open; she was immensely glad that Regina couldn't see her face. "So… how are you feeling?" she murmured.

"Hmmm, tired," Regina yawned. "But much, much better than I felt this morning."

"Glad to hear it." Emma was quiet for a moment. "Regina, should we talk about this?"

"About what?"

"About _this_," Emma sighed, gesturing to their current state. "What is this?"

Regina sighed. "Turn around," she said.

Emma complied.

The brunette reached out a tentative hand to brush a stray lock of hair from the other woman's face. "I'm quite fond of you, Emma. You are aware of this, yes?"

Emma couldn't hold back the smile that overtook her lips. "I had my suspicions, yeah."

"Of course you did," Regina smirked. "I don't want to make things between us difficult or awkward, and I never would have brought it up if you didn't ask, because I realise that you are with Hook — though for the life of me, I can't understand why — but my… _fondness_ for you runs deeper than simple friendship."

Emma's smile widened. "Well, I wasn't gonna say anything either, but I ended things with Hook over a week ago."

Regina's jaw dropped open. "You did?"

"I did. Turns out I'm into someone else."

"I sincerely hope you're referring to me, dear."

"Well, there was this other guy-"

Regina shoved her shoulder and rolled her eyes.

"But I decided that I need someone who can be all class when I'm all ass, and bring some balance to my life, y'know?" Emma grinned.

"Indeed I do," Regina responded and grabbed the front of Emma's tank top; she pulled the other woman to her and kissed her slowly and sweetly, though it grew in passion and intensity by the second. "Thank Gods I am exceptionally classy," she said when their lips finally parted. "One of us should be."

"I'm glad that responsibility falls on you," Emma said, and burrowed into the gap between Regina's neck and shoulder. "By the way, this is now my favourite place," she mumbled into soft skin.

Regina laughed. "It won't be for long; there are far better places."

"Are you trying to seduce me, Madam Mayor?"

"Would that be a problem?"

"Hell no! Carry on."

"Hmmm, I do try to avoid seduction before the first date."

Emma laughed. "Well, I hope you're free tonight, because I'm taking you somewhere awesome."

"Emma, Granny's Diner is hardly worthy of the term 'awesome'," Regina smirked.

"Good, 'cause that's not where we're going," Emma teased.

"I'm intrigued."

"You should be, lady. It's going to change your life."

Regina looked into her green eyes and smiled softly. "I believe that."


End file.
